Numb

I've lost about 50% of the feeling in my right hand and it has been dragging on for about 2 weeks now.

When it first started, I found myself expecting the pins and needles sensation that you have to endure when you sit on your foot for too long. An irritating and protracted process that you have to go through when your nerves 'wake up' that I, like most others, dislike and want to be over with as quickly as possible.

I want to feel the itchy strange tickly sensation so badly, to feel the whole of my hand and touch things without feeling an unnatural dullness. It is like my hand isn't really a part of me anymore, but this thing that is somehow attached to the end of my arm.

Yet, I have pain in my wrist and elbow that aches and goes right into my bones which is so intense yet comes fleetingly.

I dragged myself into the doctors last Thursday (sadly didn't come across the evil receptionist from my last encounter there so I couldn't have my revenge) to find out what is going on.

I ended up practically diagnosing myself - explaining about cracking my elbow joint as a child and my previous trips to the scary arm consultant man. The doctor, who seemed initially very uninterested, mangled my arm into lots of different positions and asked repeatedly if the feeling was returning to which my answer every time was no (in a more exasperated voice every time). Eventually, she got the hint that I had already had done the mangling process myself and nothing seemed to help.

It seems that my ulna nerve, which runs down your forearm and into your arm, is pinched and my elbow needs looking at. I explained that I had experienced a similar situation before and saw the scary arm man (who, at the time, suggested something about a scary operation involving cutting and moving nerves - argh).

Doctor started to explain what I could do in the meantime, and I started to downplay situation by saying that there's no pain so I’ll sit tight. Her reaction was a bit disturbing - she said it was serious, my elbow needed looking at and I needed to keep my hand moving as I already had some muscle weakness and it could get worse.

As I don't have private health insurance it looks like I have to rely on the good ol' NHS and wait for a bigillion years although the lovely 'rents said they would help me and pay for an initial appointment so then I would only need to wait for operation on NHS if needed.

Hopefully, it will all get sort post-Christmas and I won’t feel like some weirdo swinging my lifeless hand along with me.